Age Differences

 

It’s not unusual to be attracted to and marry someone who is several years older OR several years younger than we are. It is true today and was true hundreds of years ago when our ancestors were alive and making their arrangements to marry.

In Sweden, all couples, starting in the late 1600’s, needed to meet with the local priest, go through the banns (3 weeks of announcing their intention to marry in the church), and arrange for the traditional gift giving. During these meetings, the priest often entered his “notes” about the couple including who was vouching for each person.

A widow or widower could not remarry until the assessment and divisions of their previous “estate” were legally resolved. But that was normally done within about 3 months of someone’s death.

The gift giving sometimes included the man’s commitment to a morgongåva, a gift that was similar to a dowry and compensation for the bride's commitment to the marriage and household improvement. The wife would receive the morgongåva after the death of her husband. It was a way to help the widow continue for some time until she could find another man to marry or a stable household with a relative. This practice ended sometime around the early 1800's. 

As you might guess, a widower was more able and likely to marry again and to marry a much younger woman, both for the stability it brought to her life, but also her ability to give birth to additional children. An older widow, unless economically stable, might have more difficulty remarrying. It's why I see many of our widowed female ancestors living in the poor house or living with one of their children, but not remarried.

Let's look at a few of these May-September marriages in our family line.

Olaus Fredricsson is my 3rd great grandfather, father to Gus and John Linn. Olaus' family had been well off, and Olaus, his wife Catharina Johansdotter, and their 8 children, lived very comfortably at Dodringshult in Ingatorp Parish, Jonkoping County.

Dodringshult Farm in Ingatorp Parish

At some point, Dodringshult was for sale. Some of the description includes: Forest property in Northern Småland. The property is located about 20 km from Eksjö and about 10 km North of Bruzaholm. The area has about 572 hectars of which 533 are productive forest land.  Well-developed forest road network. Good hunting opportunities.

When Olaus died at the age of 44, Catharina was forced to move from her beautiful home down a dirt road to a small shack called Vastra Lund. She had her youngest 3 with her, while the older children had gone out working as drangs or pigans on other farms. How would Catharina live and provide for her children long term? We don’t know if she was bequeathed a morgongåva. We do know that she would have received half of the net proceeds from Olaus’ estate. But how long that would last is unknown. One way to assure she had food on the table and a roof over her head was to remarry.  Catherina was almost 45 years old when she married Johannes Jonsson who was 28 years old. He moved to Vastra Lund after his marriage to Catharina. While this is confusing, it does lend support to their probably not knowing each other well, or at all, when they married.

Anders Fogelqvist is my 4^th great grandfather on the Linn side. He was born in Uppsala county in 1744 and married Anna Marie Lundeberger in 1775. His bride was born in 1730, making their age difference 14 years. This couple had no children, and when Anna Marie died in 1790, Anders married my 4^th great grandmother, Lisa Lagerstrom, who was 21 years his junior. He liked being with women both much older AND much younger! But Anders himself was a great catch. He was a master hatmaker who also worked for the king’s artillery.

When my second great-grandfather, Olof Olofson, remarried, his new wife, Brita Rask, was 20 years younger. Olof was born in 1837; Brita in 1857. In an earlier post, we saw how this couple probably did not know each other before their marriage in Iowa in 1880.

The few options available in these very small, rural parishes, the need for stability, additional children, comfort, and yes, love, found our ancestors remarrying soon after the loss of a spouse. And, in many cases, these remarriages were between two people who might be separated by many years. Selfishly, I’m so glad they did remarry as I’m a descendent, in many cases, of a second marriage.