Every Family

In this blog, I've posted about some of our brave and famous ancestors, those who helped others throughout their lives, religious leaders, soldiers, and farmers. With each of these people, we have learned about their strengths. But what about our ancestors who had difficulties, whose lives didn't quite go as they had hoped or planned? What about ancestors who lived before certain diseases or mental illnesses were known and diagnosed and treated? There is no family without members who struggle, financially, socially, educationally, physically or mentally. 

How do we account for the struggles ancestors had? Do we try to label them with information we can gather? Do we assume that the family stories were true without trying to understand the "why"?

I admit that I struggle with this when I look deeply into my family. I've heard stories about ancestors that have been passed down as true. I've certainly witnessed family members who have/had difficulties. I've read accounts of ancestors who committed suicide, were alcoholics or drug users, spent time in mental institutions, who suffered from PTSD and more. Stories of ancestors who cheated on their spouse, lied to family members, who became so enraged about an issue that they were estranged for years.

Yes, our family is no different from anyone else's.

Christina Anderson was born in Sweden on September 20, 1845; together with her parents and siblings, she came to America and settled in Hamilton County. She met and married Anders Gustaf (A.G.) Barquist and had 6 children. After the death of her father, Christina's mother came to live with them; and when she died on March 12, 1903, Christina became despondent. She drowned herself in a pond less than a month later on April 7, 1903. Details and obituaries can be found on my December 2, 2018, post.

There is no doubt that alcohol as played a part in our family dynamics. Reports, stories, and first-hand knowledge shows us that, once again, our family is not immune from this horrendous problem. On February 18, 2018, I posted a story about my great-grandfather, Andrew Linn and his struggle and treatment for alcoholism at the Keeley Institute. He and Elin Andersson Linn already had their 3 children, Peter, Frank, and Elsie when he sought help.

I've heard many stories about my great-grandmother, Olivia Rask Olofson. Do we believe them? Two stories are first-hand accounts told to me. Olivia died in 1943 and so people like Veryl Olofson and her other grandchildren knew her well. In Olivia's later years, she believed someone was trying to gas her. She kept rags under her door to "keep the gas out". Veryl's dad Vernie was asked to check all around the house every time he visited her. According to Veryl, "Grandma was having a problem, mostly at night, as she thought people were "milling around" her home. She would have dad go outside and check all around. No sign of anything. He talked with her neighbors and they didn't know of any trouble. Dad discussed this many times with his sisters, as it became more frequent, about 1935 they decided that they would take turns in keeping her in their homes. Dad sold her house in 1936 for $600. No state, Fed aid or nursing home existed then. Her mental and physical condition continued to deteriorate". There is a second story about her chasing one of her grandsons around the table with a knife threatening to cut his tongue out if he didn't sit down for dinner. 

I'd like to add one more story that doesn't come from this side of my family, but from my mom's side. My second great-grandmother, Maria (Stanek) Julius was born in 1831 in Bohemia, met and married Antonin Julius, and had 7 children, and settled in Wisconsin and later Chicago. When her husband died shortly after the Great Chicago Fire, Maria's mental health declined. She came to Iowa to live with one of her daughters and to be closer to several of her children. At one point, she attacked her daughter with a knife. It was then, in 1892, that she was placed in the Insane Asylum in Independence, Iowa. In 1896, she was transferred to the Webster County Poor Farm that also had a wing for the insane. Her intake records show that she was threatening, walked the halls at night, yelling. Her death record states that, in 1913, she died of senile dementia. 

When you read the above examples, what comes to mind? Mental illness? Depression? Loneliness in old age? Alzheimer's?  How would we know? Most of these events happened in the late 1800's or early 1900's before mental illnesses had names or were researched, and certainly there was no treatment other than to lock someone up or have family members take turns living with the difficult person before passing them on to another relative.

Some people are just difficult. I'd say that my grandmother, Maude Olofson Linn, was a difficult woman. Great cook, talented piano player, avid crocheter. But you didn't want to get on her bad side.  I'll leave it at that.

Undoubtedly, there are forms of mental illness in our family, just like there is cancer and heart disease and alcoholism. We are a family just like other families with the same difficulties and challenges of every other family.

I'm proud to have told the stories of many of our ancestors during the past 3 years, stories that generally showed the brighter side. But I wanted to acknowledge, as I move to the end of the blog in December, that mental issues, suicide, dementia and Alzheimer's and more are also a part of us.